Holy moly
드디어 Mindfulness 8주차 코스 중
60%를 해냈다.
점차 더 나은 내가 되길 바라며
귀중한 삶의 툴을 배운 것 같아서 너무 기쁘다.
시작은 주변 외국인 친구들이 영감을 주었는데
나와 나,
나와 가족,
나와 주변을 바라보는 관점과
말 그대로 마음을 챙기며 스트레스를 감소하는
삶의 유용한 툴을 많이 배워서 정말 즐거웠다.
진정 공부하는 재미가 있었다.
Dealing with Difficult Emotions or Physical Pain
Turning Toward...
Videos
Turning Toward Difficulty - Vidyamala Burch
Keep it simple. The basic problem is that one has, when we are living with a chronical health condition and "I do not like it."
What you are living with is "I do not like this", and this is very distressing and very unpleasant.
So how mindfulness helps, how move away from this "I don't lke this" system of living to turning towards it, this can be very counterintuitve and It takes a lot of courage to turn towards difficulties.
- counter-intuitively turn towards experience.
- investigating what is actually happenning in moment. Look at it in quite a lot of detail.
- You do this with tenderness, care, accceptance, and compassion - it is a way you would hold a child that was hurting. It is like, "What is wrong", "How can I help you?" So you relate to your own difficulty with great tenderness.
- The crucial, theoretical part of it, you can unpack the experience into what we call primary and secondary suffering.
"I don't like this" ▶ I have some unpleasant sensations", "I can accept those"
Primary suffering (Basic unpleasant sensations)
▼
Resistance
▼
Secondary suffering (Mental, emotional & pysical reactions)
So mindfulness helps us accept what is not optionals(basic unpleasnat sensations), the primary sufferig, so soften or dissolve resistance that is very crucial training and then reduce or ever overcome the secondary suffering.
Primary suffering
Mindfulness helps accept
▼
Resistance
Mindfulness softens /dissolves
▼
Secondary suffering
Mindfulness helps reduce/overcome
Formal practice of meditation from her "Body scan", "Mindfulness breathing", and "Kindly awareness."
"Take a break before you need it."
All breath based and with gravity. Learn to rest into gravity. It is here all the time, and very often we are kind of pulling away from gravity, which creates a lot of secondary tenstion.
How to turn towards the pain with tenderness. Coz people think of pain has being solid, the enemy, a thing... Actually it is just flow of sensations that are ever changing. Actually it is just flow of sensations that are ever changing. You are seeing into the fluid nature of experinece and hold that, and pay attention to what is pleasant. And then you hold both, and you see into their fluid and changing nature, so you are no longer strung out, but you are just resting back, and it is a very broad, open awareness and you are allowing everything to rise and fall and rise and fall, moment by moment more restful whole, healthy way of living.
Expand your awarness to include awareness of others, and the world around you. And you realize how we are also so alike. We look different, but we are all very similar. And this overcomes this preoccupation with self, and one's own problems, and shift from a preception of isolation.
One Moment at a Time - Vidyamala Burch
You do not need to get through till when you believe it gets well, but you just have to live this momet, and this one, and this one.
Also, she empisizes our past is a memory, future is a dream, and the only moment we can really live is now.
The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage - Susan David
How we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead.
The conventioal view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of compleity is toxic
"But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity,we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be" "하지만 우리가 정상적인 감정을 제쳐두고 거짓 긍정성을 받아들일 때, 우리는 세상을 있는 그대로 다루는 기술을 개발하는 능력을 잃게 됩니다. 우리가 원하는 대로가 아니라요."
Judging ourselves for having so-called "bad emotiongs," or actively try to push aside these feelings.Not only we do this to ourselves, but our children.
We may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as neative, jump to a solution, and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.
Rigid denial does not work. It is unstainable for individuals, families, and societies.
Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. Psychologists call this "amplification". Like that delicious chocolate cake in the regrigerator--the more you try to ignore it, the greater it is hold on you. You might think you are in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact they control you.
Internal pain always comes out. Always. And who pays the price. We do, our children, our colleagues, our comminities...
내적 고통은 항상 드러납니다. 항상 그렇습니다. 그리고 누가 대가를 치르나요? 우리, 우리 아이들, 우리 동료, 우리 지역 사회가 치르게 됩니다...
Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life. 거친 감정은 삶과의 계약의 일부입니다. 불편함은 의미 있는 삶에 대한 입장료입니다.
Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. Psychologists call this "amplification". Like that delicious chocolate cake in the regrigerator--the more you try to ignore it, the greater it is hold on you. You might think you are in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact they control you.
Then how we begine to dismantle rigidity and embrace emotional agility?
Research now shows the radical acceptance of all ou our emotions-even the messy, difficult ones- is the cornerstone to resilience, thriving, and true, authentic happiness. Also accuracy matters. Acceptance and accuracy.
he words are essential. When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings. What scientists call the readiness potential in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps. The right steps for us.
What does this look like in practice?
When you feel a strong and touch emotion, do not race for the emotional exits. Learn its contours, show up to the journal of your hearts.
"What is the emotion teeling you?" Whereas you are you and the emotion is a data source. Instead, try to notice the feeling for what it is; "I am noticing that I am feeling sad"
"What is the emotion teeling you?" "Which action will bring me towars my values?"
"Which will take me away from my values?"
With curiosity, compassion, and courage to take values-connected steps.
The only sustainable way forward in a fragile beautiful world.
*Sawubona, it is Zulu word for hello and it means "I see you and by seeing you, I bring you into being."
Pain x Resistance = Suffering - Tara Brach
Pain X Resistance = Suffering.
When you have pain, there is a signal that something is wrong, and then it starts to spread, so it is not pain, it is resistance, and you are trapped in the pain.
▼
Pain X Presence = Freedom
1. The first step is, when you notice that you have pain in your body, just out of curiosity, start checking it out. "How am I resisting, what is the resistance?" If you look closely
enough, you will see that where there is discomfort, there is tension about it, and also the mind has thoughts that do not like it and are trying to get rid of it. You will start to send another layer. Bring that above the line. The circle with the line going through and what is below the line is where you are unconscious, and above the line is consciousness. Bring resistance above the line because if it is below the line, the contraction will end up creating more sufferi.
2. The second is the word, drop the word "pain"
The practice is to shift from that fixed concept "pain" to "Okay, this is moving sensations" and get interested in seeing the center of them and feel the space they occupy. Can you see they are changing? Maybe there is even some words like swirling, squeezing, aching, tightness, burning, cool, pressing.
And start discovering, as we pay attention that way, this kind of dynamic presence, this space that you can inhabit that isn't so caught in the pain; you are not reaciting to it, you become the space of presence.
The bottom line trick is to know that the sensations of unpleasantness belong. In this life, it is inevitable; they say "pain is inevitable and suffering is optional"
"It is okay, This belongs" There becomes more space for what is there. You notice how the sensations change and soften around them.-t his is really powerful things you can do when there is discomfort, is to soften around in sense of space around the discomfort.
It doesn't matter that there is pain; what matters is how we work with it.
Holding Your Feelings "Like a Baby" - Thupten Jinpa
When somthing triggeres you, and you get annoyed. And you catch yourself that you are annoyed and then you do not allow yourself to express it in behavior, which is good. Because it could have negative consequences which you do not want. But on the other hand, you are right, you are left with this unvomfortable feeling, you know, of somthing that has happened inside you that has caused the disturbance.
But here, I think, the compassion practice is helpful. You do not then beat yourself. Selfcompassion is a big problem and people immediately judge themselves, and are harsh on themselves, and then the guilt kicks in.
And this is where, again, the mind training practice is helpful. You catch yourself before you start going on that path. So ideally, you would want to hold what you are feeling and just stay with it.
He shared the story of someone who described about the mindfulness practice to a total stranger, it is like holing a baby. You keep holding the baby, whether the baby is laughing and giggling, or happy, or the baby is being so annoying and crying. You still keep holding. You do not drop the baby!
The mindfulness and the compassion if you bring it, not only do you stop from your emotional reactivity leading to a negative behavior, but also it allows you to stay with that negative experience and do not judge yourself, so that you do not perpetuate anothe cycle. You may not harm others but then you start haming yourself, you know.
The Three Components of Self-Compassion - Kristin Neff
Self-compassion has compenents of a sense of kindness, care, understanding for yourself versus judgment, a sense of common humanity versus feeling isolated and cut off from others. And then a sense of mindfulness-being aware of the suffering that is occurring versus over identification.
Self-compassion vs. Self-Judgment
Kindness is more that just hearts and flowers. Kindness has a very active coponent to it. It means when you are kind to yourself, It means you really want to comfort yourself when you are suffering, you want to alleviate your suffering, you want to soothe yourself. It is very active stance where I want to do whatever I can to help myself feel as good as possible in this moment.
Common humanity vs. Isolation
Seeing own experienve as part of larger human experience not isolating or abnormal
Recognizing that life is imperfect
We believe that we all are human being but when you just blew it at work, or you had someone reject you, or somthing really bad happens in your life, What happens non-rationally is that we get very ego-centric. We feel like why me? I am the only one who has messed up. I am the only one who is going to through that difficult time.
That is what life is; Life goes wrong. No one in here signed a contract before you were born in this world saying i will be perfect, my life would be perfect.
That is how we react. The problem with that is when we feel isolated and cut off from others, physiologically that is very frightening. One of the worst things that can happen to us is to be isolated from the group because then we are not safe. This is aspect of well-being I do not think has been studied enough. This sense of can we feel connected to others in our suffering or do we feel isolated from otheres in our suffering?
Mindfulness vs. Over-identification
- Avoiding extremes of suppressing or running away with painful feelings.
- Allows us to "be" with painful feelings as they are
You have to aware of your suffering in order to give it compassion. Mindfulness allows you not only to notice your suffering, but to be with your suffering as it is. We do not like to be around suffering.
Self-compassion says: pain is occuring, can I turn toward that? Can I be with that? You need to do that to be able to give yourself the caring and support you need.
We are so lost in the rold of self-critic that we do not really stop to realize. And in some ways it feels more comfortable to be self-critic because at least the self-critic is not the person that messed up. You know that self-critic knows you messed up. But the part of you that feels really vulnerable and insecure and a failure.
When things go wrong in our lives, very often we go straight into problem-solving mode. It is like: there is a problem, I do not want there to be a problem, I need to fix the problem. If we go straight into problem-solving mode and we do not stop to again turn towards the suffering, and say "this is really hard. This is diffucult. I need a little care and compassion to get me through this."
Just acknowledge and validate how diffucult the situation is.
Reading
The Four Ways of Responding to Emotional or Physical Pain - Dave Potter
When facing emotional or physical difficulties, people typically respond in one of two ways: "Pushing Away" or "Falling In."
"Pushing Away" involves using willpower to ignore discomfort or distracting oneself with activities or indulgences like food, alcohol, or drugs. This approach doesn't address the root cause of the pain and can lead to additional problems.
"Falling In" occurs when a person lacks the resources to manage their pain, becoming overwhelmed by the discomfort and accompanying fears or judgments. This can lead to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
Often, individuals alternate between these two responses, creating a cycle of temporary relief followed by renewed overwhelm.
To break the cycle of "Pushing Away" and "Falling In," two alternatives are suggested: "Recognizing & Letting Go" and "Turning Toward." These methods involve accepting difficult emotions or sensations without avoidance or submission.
"Recognizing & Letting Go" involves gently acknowledging discomfort, akin to greeting an unexpected visitor. This brief recognition is followed by returning focus to a chosen object of awareness, like breath or body. This approach enhances stability and resilience, potentially easing the discomfort over time.
"Turning Toward" entails moving closer to the discomfort, counter-intuitively facing it rather than avoiding it. This gentle process draws on skills of awareness and non-judgment, fostering deeper understanding and potential resolution of underlying issues.
"Turning Toward" Difficult Emotions - opton 1 for Informal Practice
"Turning Toward" Physical Pain - option 2 for Informal Practice
This is similar to “STOP” (One Minute Breathing Space), except that in the middle, there is an intentional exploration of an emotional difficulty.
Beginning with Awareness and Grounding
Bring yourself into the present moment, grounding yourself by physically sensing into the support provided by the ground or floor, or what you are sitting or lying on. Then gently direct full attention to breathing for a few breaths, feeling each inbreath and outbreath.
Turning toward the Difficult (softening, allowing)
Managing difficult emotions by noticing and acknowledging them without self-identification. Instead of saying "I am angry," try saying "I notice something in me that is angry.", “I’m noticing something in me that has this feeling.” This approach creates emotional distance and reduces self-labeling. Observe where the emotion manifests physically in the body, such as tension in the shoulders or tightness in the chest. Gently allow these sensations to exist without resistance, using soft, compassionate breaths. Treat the emotion with kindness, as you would comfort a distressed child or pet, placing a hand on the affected area or your heart. This practice involves softening your reaction and allowing the feeling to be present, recognizing it as a temporary experience.
Seeking the Pleasant
Without trying to push away the difficult issue, shift your focus to an area of your life that is generally okay or good. Think of someone or something you are grateful for, such as a loved one, a favorite pet, a good friend, an achievement, a hobby, or a personal strength. It could also be something simple, like recalling a recent or past smile or kind word from someone. This practice helps balance the difficult emotions with positive reflections.
Broadening Awareness & Opening to the Outside World
In this step, broaden your awareness like using a wide-angle lens, encompassing both the difficult emotion and what you are grateful for. Create space for both without pushing away the difficult or clinging to the pleasant. Expand your perspective to include your entire body and its sensations. Shift your attention to the room or area you are in, noticing the sights, sounds, and sensations around you. When ready, re-engage with your daily activities.
Radical Acceptance - Tara Brach
Mohini, a regal white tiger, lived for many years at the Washington, DC National Zoo. Her home for most of that time was a small, 12-by-12-foot cage with iron bars and a cement floor. She spent her days restlessly pacing back and forth in this confined space. Eventually, the zoo staff and biologists created a large natural habitat for her, spanning several acres with hills, trees, a pond, and various vegetation. However, when released into this expansive environment. But it was too late. Mohini immediately sought refuge in a corner and continued her habitual pacing. She spent the rest of her life in that corner, wearing down a 12-by-12-foot area of grass.
The greatest tragedy in life is that freedom is within our reach, yet we often spend our years trapped in old patterns. Entangled in a trance of unworthiness, we become accustomed to caging ourselves with self-judgment, anxiety, restlessness, and dissatisfaction. Like Mohini, we lose the ability to access the freedom and peace that are our birthright. We may long to love others without holding back, to feel authentic, to embrace the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet, each day, we listen to inner voices that keep our lives small. Even if we were to win the lottery or marry the perfect person, as long as we feel unworthy, we won't be able to enjoy the possibilities before us. Unlike Mohini, however, we have the capacity to recognize when we are trapping ourselves with our beliefs and fears, and we can see how we are wasting our precious lives.
The way out of our cage begins with fully accepting ourselves and our lives, embracing each moment with awareness and care. This means being mindful of what is happening within our body and mind at any given moment, without trying to control, judge, or avoid it. Acceptance doesn’t mean tolerating harmful behavior from ourselves or others; rather, it involves acknowledging our present experience, feeling sorrow and pain without resistance, and experiencing desires or dislikes without self-judgment or compulsion to act.
This process, which I call Radical Acceptance, involves clearly recognizing our internal experiences and regarding them with an open, kind, and loving heart. If we withhold acceptance from any part of our experience, we fuel the fears and feelings of separation that maintain the trance of unworthiness. Radical Acceptance dismantles the very foundations of this trance, freeing us from its grip.
Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart, is what I call Radical Acceptance.
우리 내부에서 무슨 일이 일어나고 있는지 명확하게 인식하고, 개방적이고 친절하며 사랑하는 마음으로 우리가 보는 것을 대하는 것을 저는 급진적 수용이라고 부릅니다.
Radical Acceptance challenges our conditioned reactions. When we experience physical or emotional pain, our reflex is to resist it by tensing our bodies and contracting our minds. We become lost in thoughts about what is wrong, how long it will last, what we should do about it, and how the pain reflects our unworthiness. Physical pain, like a backache or migraine, can trigger self-critical thoughts about our self-care habits, making us feel like victims and convincing us that things will always go wrong. Similarly, we amplify emotional pain with our judgments and stories, interpreting fear, anger, or jealousy as signs that something is inherently wrong with us, that we are weak or bad.
Mindfulness, described as the wing of clear seeing, involves recognizing our moment-to-moment experience without trying to manage or escape it. When mindful of fear, we notice our racing thoughts, bodily tension, and the urge to flee. This open and unconditional presence allows us to accept whatever arises, including our wishes and thoughts. By not tampering with our experience, mindfulness helps us see life "as it is." This clear recognition is essential to Radical Acceptance, as we can't truly accept an experience without seeing it clearly.
Mindfulness allows us to see life "as it is."
This recognition of the truth of our experience is intrinsic to Radical Acceptance: We can't honestly accept an experience unless we see clearly what we are accepting.
"있는 그대로"
우리 경험의 진실에 대한 이러한 인식은 급진적 수용에 내재되어 있습니다. 우리가 받아들이는 것이 무엇인지 명확히 보지 않는 한, 우리는 경험을 정직하게 받아들일 수 없습니다.
The second wing of Radical Acceptance is compassion, which involves relating to our experiences with tenderness and sympathy. Instead of resisting feelings of fear or grief, we embrace them with kindness, similar to how a mother holds her child. Compassion means accepting our desires and pain without judgment, allowing us to be fully present with life as it is. This approach, combined with clear seeing (mindfulness), frees us from the trance of unworthiness. Both mindfulness and compassion are essential and mutually reinforcing. They help us navigate emotional turbulence, find balance, and make thoughtful choices. Even when we feel lost, our inherent awareness and capacity to care remain intact. By recognizing and letting go of our judgments and resistance, we can experience life with clear and kind attention, embracing each moment as it.
The "Felt Sense" Prayer - as shared by Tara Brach
I am your friend, not your enemy. I belong. I have no desire to bring pain and suffering into your life. 나는 당신의 친구입니다. 나는 당신에게 속하며 당신의 삶에 통을 가져오고 싶지 않습니다.
Author unknown – as shared by Tara Brach
So, I implore you. I am a messenger with good news, as disturbing as I can be at times. I am wanting to guide you back to those tender places in yourself, the place where you can hold yourself with compassion and honesty. I may ask you to alter your diet, get more sleep, exercise regularly, breathe more consciously. I might encourage you to seek a vaster reality and worry less about the day-to-day fluctuations of life. I may ask you to explore the bonds and the wounds of your relationship. Wherever I lead you, my hope is that you will realize that success will not be measured by my eradication, but by the shift in the internal landscape from which I emerge.
*In philosophy and psychology, awareness is a perception or knowledge of something. Wikipedia
"Aware" redirects here. For other uses, see Aware (disambiguation) . In philosophy and psychology , awareness is a perception or knowledge of something. [1] The concept is often synonymous to consciousness . [2] However, one can be aware of something without being explicitly conscious of it, such as...
en.wikipedia.org
** Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.
P.S. 공부할 때 들으면 좋은 케이팝 피아노
댓글